From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was worried about how I would look. Don’t get me wrong, I was so excited about becoming a mom, but I was two months into a weight loss journey that was finally bringing me happiness.
In March of 2012, my office was starting a biggest loser contest. It would last for two months, ending the day of the Miami Corporate Run. I was determined to not only participate and lose weight, but to win. I started working out five days a week and cutting back what I was eating. In two months I lost 20 pounds, felt great about myself and came in third place (which gave me some shopping money!). Two weeks after the contest ended, I found out we were pregnant.
I’ve always struggled with my weight. Well, let me not say weight but instead I’ve always struggled with my body image. I could be at the lightest weight I’ve ever been and my stomach would still look like I was pregnant. When I gain any weight, it goes straight there. To my pouch as I like to call it.
I gained sixty pounds when I was pregnant. I was still healthy; I was running for the first seven months of my pregnancy. But I was so nauseous all the time and the only thing that made me feel better was food. So even though I was always eating healthy – oatmeal, fruit, vegetables – when you eat 24 hours a day, you are going to gain weight.
So now that my baby (toddler?!) is 2 years old, I started a new journey. A journey to find love. I can’t use the excuse that I just had a baby anymore. I needed to find love for my body.
When I look in the mirror, I still don’t like what I see. I even refuse to be in pictures with my daughter because I know that I’ll just hate the picture anyways. And now when I look through the first two years of pictures from her life, there are maybe a handful with me in it. That makes me sad.
So I am starting my journey to accept my body. I am working out as often as I can and watching what I eat. But let’s face it, I do not have the time I did back before I was pregnant to work out 10+ hours a week. There are some other ways though that are starting to help me accept my new body.
My husband always tells me how great I look when we are getting ready to go out to dinner. I brush him off and tell him that he is just biased. When he told me I looked great, I only saw the extra fat around my hips and waist. But I need take it for what it is and genuinely try to feel good about it. He is trying to tell me that I look great. Accept it and embrace it.
Set Realistic Expectations
I look at my sisters or my friends and want to look like them. But I have to realize that I never looked liked them. I never had that flat stomach I am trying to achieve. I need to set a bunch of little goals that are manageable. This way, I’ll be able to achieve them.
Clothing that Fits My Body
I need to stop saving clothes in my closet saying “one day, I’ll wear this again”. It only makes me feel worse. So I took some time and purged. I got rid of three bags of clothes that no longer look good on me. I need to wear clothes that accentuate the good parts of my body and not the parts I hate. I need to take some time for myself, which I never do anymore, and buy some clothes that will make me feel happy because I will look good.
Ignore the Numbers
I weigh 150 pounds. That seems like a lot to me and I constantly stress over that number. But I wear a size six. I definitely do not consider a six to be bad. My body is just built differently and I need to stop stressing over the number on the scale.
And just remember why your body looks the way it does. You created a precious, little miracle. And she melts my heart every time I think of her.
I am a work at home mom to a beautiful toddler, Savanna, wife to her husband, Ariel, and founder of Life with Peanut. I am addicted to Diet Coke, Swedish fish and chocolate and love to have everything scheduled down to the minute each day. I also enjoy being crafty by making toys, accessories and headbands for Savanna.
I started Life with Peanut in 2014 while decorating my daughter’s room. Being incredibly indecisive on decor (there are still empty frames!), I couldn’t help but start creating my own art work to fill Savanna’s room. With not enough wall space for all my prints, I decided to open an Etsy shop to sell instant downloads to other families, and thus, Life with Peanut was born.